Developed/Published by: Sega
Released: 1999
Completed: 3rd November 2015
Completion: Finished it.
Trophies / Achievements: n/a
Well, all that talk of The House Of The Dead 2 got me in the mood for it, and as I’m several thousand miles away from my Dreamcast and Dreamcast Gun (probably my favourite light gun, for some reason?) I might as well play through famously loved wacky port, The Typing Of The Dead.
It’s The House Of The Dead 2, except you type to kill the zombies instead of shooting them.
Do you ever think about your typing? Do they still teach it at school these days? Thinking about typing is like thinking about breathing or blinking, indeed as I type this my typing gets worse and worse as I start to over-think it. When I think back, I feel like my secondary school still had two classrooms with typewriters and I must have learned to type “properly” in first or second year that way—I feel like second year, when you’re rapidly shuffled through some different classes before you choose what you’ll do in third and fourth (note: Scotland-specific, possibly “Scotland in the 90s”-specific). I don’t remember it at all, though. What I do remember though is getting a copy of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing on the front cover of PC Format and “playing” it pretty extensively. If you’re looking to learn to type properly, I’m not sure I can recommend anything more highly than the original Mavis Beacon, it’s really great.
Of course, nowadays I type fast, but messily, and I’m pretty sure I mostly type with my two fore-fingers on each hand despite basically keeping my hands on the “home keys.” In fact I’m really exploring it now—screwing my typing up badly—and yeah, I use most of the fingers on my left hand, but my right hand dances about the place and my left hand will do things like type Y, which it’s really not supposed to be doing.
I’ll be honest though, it works. I’d love to go back and learn typing properly again—I’m sure I was very solid after a course of Mavis Beacon—get that right hand better, but I can’t be arsed, because to do so is a bit dull and I’ve got other slightly dull drills I do daily (kanji doesn’t learn itself.) And The Typing Of The Dead hasn’t improved me any. It’s possible that if you’re willing to put the effort into the drills and lessons the game includes you’ll improve though?
Anyway. The Typing Of The Dead is a fun way to play The House Of The Dead 2! The game has all the great dialogue and level settings I remember—a boring lab only takes up the very last level, and while it does recycle all the bosses again, it at least spaces out the recycles a bit. It’s totally one of my favourite campy horror experiences, a bit like watching a crap bit of Italian gore or something (it’s even set in Venice, maybe?) So yeah, whichever flavour of this you choose to play I think it whiles away about a half hour rather nicely.
Will I ever play it again? The Typing Of The Dead, probably not. Typing Space Harrier: I’d love to! The House Of The Dead 2: if I ever get my Dreamcast out of storage, but after I finish the other Dreamcast shooter I own, Confidential Mission. Wait, the Dreamcast only has like two light gun shooters? Man, light guns are such a bad investment.
Final Thought: Unlike The House Of The Dead, The House Of The Dead 2 did something right for Sega for them to keep pushing it: Not only was there The Typing Of The Dead, there’s also Nintendo DS English Of The Dead (The House Of The Dead 2 teaches you English) and Flick Of The Dead for iOS (The House Of The Dead 2 teaches you Japanese cellphone style texting.) I do think it’s best as a shooter, though.
