Developed/Published by: Blinkbat Games
Released: 7th August, 2014
Completed: 2nd September, 2014
Completion: Conceivably, you could class reaching 1000 holes as completing it, so I officially gave up on this one. I got to hole 69 (hurr hurr) and quit. 197 strokes, a 2.9 par.
Trophies / Achievements: n/a

“To play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.”—attributed to “the Allens” by H. S. Scrivener in 1903.

Will I ever play it again? No.

Final Thought: Here was me, worrying my time spent playing New Star Soccer, a game where you mostly aim an arrow to make a ball go a direction, would make me look a total fanny. Why did I worry?

(Desert Golfing is the purest representation of the idea that if you stick some surprises in your game, game designers are going to lose their shit over it. Why create an ecosystem like Spelunky’s when you can just, you know, stick a bitmap rock at hole 300 and slightly and slowly modify the colour palette? Video games truly are art, in that Desert Golfing allows those “in the know” to jerk themselves silly while the average punter thinks “a kid could do that.” It is our shark in formaldehyde, although one I’d believe made without guile, now we just need some dickhead to spend £8 million on it.)