Developed/Published by: Tecmo, Team Tachyon / Tecmo
Released: 11th December, 2008
Completed: 4th December, 2014
Completion: Finished the story mode.
Trophies / Achievements: n/a

I played this for an hour, right? I played this for an hour and I was like “this is absolute garbage. Real ‘kusoge’ and not even in a particularly funny way. I should stop playing this.”

And yet I went back and I finished it. While I was finishing it, I was like… will god forgive me? When  my life is over, and he (or she) looks at how I spent my precious time on earth, they’re going to be like “you spent five hours of your life, precious time you could have spent with loved ones, playing Rygar: The Battle of Argus?”

What am I going to say to them? That I multitasked, watching some episodes of Scot Squad on the iPlayer, and that I listened to the very first radio play featuring Adrian Mole (then called Nigel Mole) but I didn’t like it very much (I loved those books back in the day, but listening to someone read their diary isn’t very fun.)

I guess I could say some stuff like that? I could mention that occasionally, very occasionally the voice acting is funny? (Surprisingly, it’s not on Audio Atrocities, not even for the peach of a line “I pledge my victory to this feather!”)

I could bring up that the game is sort of really funny because it’s exactly, as in 100% exactly, the same as the PS2 game it’s a “remake” of (Rygar: The Legendary Adventure) with the only change being that the hero looks utterly ridiculous? That Tecmo had the audacity to announce this for Wii as “Tecmo New Style Action Game” according to Wikipedia and then title it, amazingly, Warrior of Argus: Muscle Impact in Japan?

I could say some stuff like that I guess… but would god forgive me?

Will I ever play it again? Maybe my punishment in hell will be to play this again.

Final Thought: Once you’ve beaten the game apparently you can play it again, but your hero’s weapon is a pizza instead of a ‘diskarmour.’ Fair enough.